…and no one seems to be listening.
“It takes more courage to examine the dark corners of your own soul than it does for a soldier to fight on a battlefield.” – W. B. Yeats
― Graham Greene, The Quiet American
This is my test.
This is my time to prove that I understood that I deserve to experience great things in life. That I deserve to love, to laugh, and to be light. To receive light. Darkness is here only to help me realise that. to help me realise my light.
I worship you
and I fear
how the blue light on your skin
makes me forget the pain I’ve seen
It’s too good to be true
this just can’t be you
you’re honey for my mind
of that sweet, overwhelming kind
who are you
fire, bright reflection?
oh how beautiful I feel
in the flaws of your perfection
letting go and I start to flow
giving in to the beauty
that is to watch you loving me
like twins in another place
who locked eyes and saw the same face
they were one before they were two
but finally forgot who was who
can I live up to your expectations
or, erm, do I really want to?
first I’m me, then I’m a woman
the one who gets to see that shall be my true man
my heart needs the space
to put you in its place
so I can love you truthfully
this is my bedtime prayer
in a scared whisper, I beg you
God teach us how to dance together
and show me how to love this man forever
I’m looking for real love
I was told I won’t find it here
it demotivates me
to live a life without a peer
but what for
if he’d only serve to mask
my deep, pounding fear?