Finding my light

This is my test.
This is my time to prove that I understood that I deserve to experience great things in life. That I deserve to love, to laugh, and to be light. To receive light. Darkness is here only to help me realise that. to help me realise my light.

Mariana

Enlightenment explained by a bird

I saw this video today and giggled at the fact that this bird’s quest is the perfect metaphor for my journey of self-discovery.

Just like this bird, I know where I am going and what I’m looking for. But just like the part of myself which I’m calling the sceptic, nothing seems to be happening: I throw my heart out and my piece of bread just gets smaller and smaller.

At least that’s what I think when I’m having a bad day. The truth is, I’m not losing anything. Worrying that I’m a misfit with no solution are all illusions of the sceptic that need to go. I am not throwing my tiny piece of bread into nothingness.

It’s just that I’m quickly becoming aware of things that were never right in my life, aspects of me which I ignored because I didn’t have the courage to face them. And it hurts to see them. But now I do. Now that I shine a light, I can see my dark corners. And having guilt or shame about these dark corners is not allowed because it’s all part of the process. And in a way, it’s beautiful.

So listen up, sceptic: I will be patient and I will keep you calm. That’s it. Try to cooperate. I’m just trying to make you feel it, even if only for a split-second. We are what we are looking for, man.

Can you feel it? The big fish is us.

Aquarius

My body is the home of violent emotions
Some of which I don’t understand
I ignore them and suppress them
But I’m not able to withstand.

Searching for the brightest light
Softly beaming in the darkest corner
I spot it and laugh out loud
But when I open my eyes, I feel the void.

Scary is to not know
Fear is to doubt
Will the void get out of control?
Is the promise land a hoax?

No way
I hit the breaks and I come home
The void is just a game I play
I know that. I feel that. It’s okay.

No hard feelings
Lies; of course there are
Darkness is full of them
Hidden in the birds, in the trees and in the sea.

I meditate and I sink
And slowly, I let myself be pulled back
I’m not speeding up the journey
Where to, if what I need is to get back to the start?

So I let darkness kiss my cheek
My eyes, my heart, and my feet
I invite it to sit with me
And let is show me what I need to see

There’s nothing wrong with the sun. It’s just that we can’t see it

When ignorance is exhausted, we see our Original Nature. In the sea of suffering, beings don’t know they have this Buddha Nature. The Buddha’s teachings are all aimed at showing us this Nature (…). You practice with discipline, meditation and wisdom and break apart the false self. The false self covers our Buddha Nature so beings can’t see it. On a cloudy day you cant see the sun but that’s not to say there is no sun right? There’s nothing wrong with the sun it’s just that we can’t see it. Our Buddha Nature is just like this.” – Buddhist Master, hermit in the Zhongnan Mountains, China