I saw this video today and giggled at the fact that this bird’s quest is the perfect metaphor for my journey of self-discovery.
Just like this bird, I know where I am going and what I’m looking for. But just like the part of myself which I’m calling the sceptic, nothing seems to be happening: I throw my heart out and my piece of bread just gets smaller and smaller.
At least that’s what I think when I’m having a bad day. The truth is, I’m not losing anything. Worrying that I’m a misfit with no solution are all illusions of the sceptic that need to go. I am not throwing my tiny piece of bread into nothingness.
It’s just that I’m quickly becoming aware of things that were never right in my life, aspects of me which I ignored because I didn’t have the courage to face them. And it hurts to see them. But now I do. Now that I shine a light, I can see my dark corners. And having guilt or shame about these dark corners is not allowed because it’s all part of the process. And in a way, it’s beautiful.
So listen up, sceptic: I will be patient and I will keep you calm. That’s it. Try to cooperate. I’m just trying to make you feel it, even if only for a split-second. We are what we are looking for, man.
Can you feel it? The big fish is us.
World and people in this world:
When you doubt yourself. When you question if you’re good enough. When you wonder if the things you were born to do were just frivolous dreams. When you ask yourself if you are as special as you used to think… don’t answer. There is still no right reply. But one day, sooner than later, you will have the answer for all those questions – the right one. And you’ll know that because you held your answer until the day you succeeded.
Do you dream about what you know? or do you know your dreams?
Time is just a concept of your mind. If you want something, put yourself there. Don’t spend time day dreaming or conceptualising it. Know it. And suddenly you’re there.
Just like magic (some people call it time), your brain will put the succession of events that took you there together, so you can create a story around how and why that all happened. Hence, that story is not real. You got there because you realised that’s what you wanted. It’s a simple as that.
Having no time to get where you need is as redundant as saying the sun won’t have time to rise today. Somethings just need to happen. And to those things time is a blessing, not a burden.
Amongst all my friends, I’m probably considered to be the one that talks the most. I am excited about life, about people, about change. But strangely, I don’t consider myself a talkative person. Because I believe than when you do something with a purpose, you can never do too much of it. With the right crowd, everything falls into place. The ironic thing is, the thing people tease you about is usually your best asset.
You can be romantic, individualist, naturalist, geek. No matter what you are and how you tend to be, you are doing it right. Are you a bad dancer? Only you can get people to smile in the dark. Are you shy? You can melt anyone with your eyes. Are you picky? You can improve everything you touch. I am talkative. And I am courageous enough to do everything that I say.
That’s why I had my last cigarette on the 22nd of September. Because I prefer to talk about freedom and change and the two don’t go well together. Talking too much took me to stop smoking. hmm.. I think I’ll do more of it and see where it takes me. 🙂
Good news today! The things your mind worries about will be sorted out soon. Sooner than anything else in your life.
If you realise what your worries are – the little ones that chatter in your mind one day, or prevent you from falling asleep at night – you’ll realise how soon they will be taken care of.
It’s the things you don’t realise that actually need more noticing. Not the other way round. Say you are doing a new dance class and you feel you are the worst student. You leave so disappointed you feel like crying, “I am worried I will never be as good as the other students”, you think. But think less. You wanted to be like the other students so bad that you forget to pay attention to how much better you got at moving your feet. So instead, you worry.
Isn’t worrying simply a symptom of how much you care? And don’t we know that everything that is cared for, grows beautifully? Isn’t that the case of trees, families, friendship and even skills?
Realise that worrying is nothing but a stressed-out version of: I care. And understand that everything that is cared for solves itself. Worrying is a part of the growing equation that can be completely eradicated from your dreams. Try to focus instead, on the little things that pass unnoticed. Nurture those things, and let the rest unfold naturally, just like it will.