This is my test.
This is my time to prove that I understood that I deserve to experience great things in life. That I deserve to love, to laugh, and to be light. To receive light. Darkness is here only to help me realise that. to help me realise my light.
I saw this video today and giggled at the fact that this bird’s quest is the perfect metaphor for my journey of self-discovery.
Just like this bird, I know where I am going and what I’m looking for. But just like the part of myself which I’m calling the sceptic, nothing seems to be happening: I throw my heart out and my piece of bread just gets smaller and smaller.
At least that’s what I think when I’m having a bad day. The truth is, I’m not losing anything. Worrying that I’m a misfit with no solution are all illusions of the sceptic that need to go. I am not throwing my tiny piece of bread into nothingness.
It’s just that I’m quickly becoming aware of things that were never right in my life, aspects of me which I ignored because I didn’t have the courage to face them. And it hurts to see them. But now I do. Now that I shine a light, I can see my dark corners. And having guilt or shame about these dark corners is not allowed because it’s all part of the process. And in a way, it’s beautiful.
So listen up, sceptic: I will be patient and I will keep you calm. That’s it. Try to cooperate. I’m just trying to make you feel it, even if only for a split-second. We are what we are looking for, man.
Can you feel it? The big fish is us.
“When you stand out of the mind, all the problems disappear because the mind disappears.”
*Pic source: unknown
So you make the best pancakes on earth, you’re humble and you always give loose change to the homeless. You’re good at your job and you always smile at strangers. You dress well and recycle and also have the most beautiful nose that Instagram has ever seen. You’re not a slacker. You had a tough life but you overcame it with grace. Today, you are stable and loved and you’ve managed to save up money for something big. Finally, you are all of that.
But all of that doesn’t even get close to everything that you are.
Inside, you are a being so big that no words can describe. No goals can achieve. No failure can break. Inside, you are something so powerful that no one could ever like or dislike. Not even you.
We build better versions of ourselves on the outside to create more and better bridges to communicate with each other. It’s all about acknowledging that we are all here, together. Now we can acknowledge moments together with an instant message, with a snap, with an emoji, with a like.But there is a form of communication that is bigger than any bridge: presence.
If you pay attention, you’ll feel it too. And then you’ll start seeing it everywhere. You’ll see it in me. You’ll see in cars, in coffee and in tea. You’ll see it in others. Suddenly, they’ll be there. On the tube, on the street, in the elevator. They’ll be there. And they’ll be celebrating that with you. Because they know they are there, you know you are here too. And no comment, like or emoji could ever surpass that. Presence is love that comes from the only place where information can not be misinterpreted. It comes from the heart. From one to the other. From all that we are, independently from what we choose to do on the outside.
‘You can be lonely even when you are loved by many people, since you are still not anybody’s one and only.’ – Anne Frank
Stay calm. And if you don’t know what to do, do nothing. – Maya Angelou in The Power of the Heart