Finding my light

This is my test.
This is my time to prove that I understood that I deserve to experience great things in life. That I deserve to love, to laugh, and to be light. To receive light. Darkness is here only to help me realise that. to help me realise my light.

Mariana

I want to love this man

I worship you
and I fear
how the blue light on your skin
makes me forget the pain I’ve seen

It’s too good to be true
this just can’t be you
you’re honey for my mind
of that sweet, overwhelming kind

who are you
fire, bright reflection?
oh how beautiful I feel
in the flaws of your perfection

letting go and I start to flow
mesmerised, electrified
giving in to the beauty
that is to watch you loving me

like twins in another place
who locked eyes and saw the same face
they were one before they were two
but finally forgot who was who

can I live up to your expectations
or, erm, do I really want to?
first I’m me, then I’m a woman
the one who gets to see that shall be my true man

my heart needs the space
to put you in its place
slowly
so I can love you truthfully

this is my bedtime prayer
in a scared whisper, I beg you
God teach us how to dance together
and show me how to love this man forever

shelf love

Darkness is in the critic
that finds flaws in my love
perfecting it and shaping it
to sell me as tough
I’m not on discount
although I play myself to be
maybe that’s why my love fails
miserably
my smile comes with the package
seducing you away
it’s the way I found to say
unwrap me lover boy
and grab me real tight
make me your new story
of endless love and light
I may be a dreamer
a sucker for fantasy
knocked down by pain
I am humble and insane
lucky day for you
you just found the best of me
little do you know
that you’re buying gold for free

The divine in me sees the divine in you

So you make the best pancakes on earth, you’re humble and you always give loose change to the homeless. You’re good at your job and you always smile at strangers. You dress well and recycle and also have the most beautiful nose that Instagram has ever seen. You’re not a slacker. You had a tough life but you overcame it with grace. Today, you are stable and loved and you’ve managed to save up money for something big. Finally, you are all of that.

But all of that doesn’t even get close to everything that you are.

Inside, you are a being so big that no words can describe. No goals can achieve. No failure can break. Inside, you are something so powerful that no one could ever like or dislike. Not even you.

We build better versions of ourselves on the outside to create more and better bridges to communicate with each other. It’s all about acknowledging that we are all here, together. Now we can acknowledge moments together with an instant message, with a snap, with an emoji, with a like.But there is a form of communication that is bigger than any bridge: presence.

If you pay attention, you’ll feel it too. And then you’ll start seeing it everywhere. You’ll see it in me. You’ll see in cars, in coffee and in tea. You’ll see it in others. Suddenly, they’ll be there. On the tube, on the street, in the elevator.  They’ll be there. And they’ll be celebrating that with you. Because they know they are there, you know you are here too. And no comment, like or emoji could ever surpass that. Presence is love that comes from the only place where information can not be misinterpreted. It comes from the heart. From one to the other. From all that we are, independently from what we choose to do on the outside.

Namaste.