In death I find comfort
in life I search for it
sometimes I wonder
which path is really lit
under the moonlight I ponder
if I’ll ever be free
or if I’ll always regret
not having found Me.
In Yogananda’s darkest times, he always went to one place: within.
I saw this video today and giggled at the fact that this bird’s quest is the perfect metaphor for my journey of self-discovery.
Just like this bird, I know where I am going and what I’m looking for. But just like the part of myself which I’m calling the sceptic, nothing seems to be happening: I throw my heart out and my piece of bread just gets smaller and smaller.
At least that’s what I think when I’m having a bad day. The truth is, I’m not losing anything. Worrying that I’m a misfit with no solution are all illusions of the sceptic that need to go. I am not throwing my tiny piece of bread into nothingness.
It’s just that I’m quickly becoming aware of things that were never right in my life, aspects of me which I ignored because I didn’t have the courage to face them. And it hurts to see them. But now I do. Now that I shine a light, I can see my dark corners. And having guilt or shame about these dark corners is not allowed because it’s all part of the process. And in a way, it’s beautiful.
So listen up, sceptic: I will be patient and I will keep you calm. That’s it. Try to cooperate. I’m just trying to make you feel it, even if only for a split-second. We are what we are looking for, man.
Can you feel it? The big fish is us.
A friend of mine, Emma, recently told me that she felt that doing the Kundalini teacher training course (yes, we’re almost teachers!), is like finally drinking from an infinite source of water that was scarce all her life – as if she was wondering thirsty along the desert until now. Her words inspired me so much that I ended up writing this… because yes, we were chasing a mirage by joining this course, we had no idea what to expect, we were scared, but we did it anyway! And now I too feel like I’ve found the tip of my Oasis.. something that I thought was only a mirage all my life… and there’s so much to discover! Even if for the rest of the world my Oasis might seem just a crazy mirage, I have tasted it. I am in it. My inner journey has begun 🙂
The mind does nothing (to you) without your permission.
(Even with practice), the mind does not stop – it is you who stop giving attention to the mind. You will lose the tendency to evaluate yourself (and realise that) wave or no wave ocean is ocean. Without your interest, all these negativities fade out. They’re just living on sponsorship from you. If you have no interest in something it quietly goes out of existence.
Actually, it’s the Yogi life that’s important to silence. Because Silence is everywhere. But the yogi life gives us the opportunity to truly start listening to it, thoroughly, uninterruptedly. Aum. Aum. Aum.
Each morning, the moment you take your head off the pillow, you have all you need. – unknown