This is my test.
This is my time to prove that I understood that I deserve to experience great things in life. That I deserve to love, to laugh, and to be light. To receive light. Darkness is here only to help me realise that. to help me realise my light.
I feel the spirits of those who passed
as if I’d been there too
when in darkness I find my peace
where there’s nothing I’ve got to do
in their words I find my truth
in their dreams, hopes and fears
but which I feel are so near
only they know where I’m now
in this deep sorrow of mine
that if I said I didn’t love
I’d be lying
I’m afraid this pain will reach my core,
dragging me down towards the floor.
I just want it to go away,
But it insists we have to play.
I shake its hand, look at it straight in the eye.
It gets embarrassed and waves me goodbye.
I will always shine light on your shadow.
I will never allow you to settle.
Surrounding my surface,
Looking for a way to get in.
Infecting my layers,
Penetrating my skin.
I’m aware of it now,
That’s how it begins.
I laugh and I’m proud,
Outside my onion rings.
Should I try to dodge it? No.
I fight it once more.
Pain is not for pussy’s,
It’s hard cold war.