This is my test.
This is my time to prove that I understood that I deserve to experience great things in life. That I deserve to love, to laugh, and to be light. To receive light. Darkness is here only to help me realise that. to help me realise my light.
Mariana
I worship you
and I fear
how the blue light on your skin
makes me forget the pain I’ve seen
It’s too good to be true
this just can’t be you
you’re honey for my mind
of that sweet, overwhelming kind
who are you
fire, bright reflection?
oh how beautiful I feel
in the flaws of your perfection
letting go and I start to flow
mesmerised, electrified
giving in to the beauty
that is to watch you loving me
like twins in another place
who locked eyes and saw the same face
they were one before they were two
but finally forgot who was who
can I live up to your expectations
or, erm, do I really want to?
first I’m me, then I’m a woman
the one who gets to see that shall be my true man
my heart needs the space
to put you in its place
slowly
so I can love you truthfully
this is my bedtime prayer
in a scared whisper, I beg you
God teach us how to dance together
and show me how to love this man forever
I’m looking for real love
but again
I was told I won’t find it here
it demotivates me
to live a life without a peer
but what for
if he’d only serve to mask
my deep, pounding fear?
My love is between the space
of what you see as real
my heart touches yours
in a silent ordeal
it’s painful to exist
on the outside of your skin
…if you only knew
would you ever let me in?
wounded hearts
in empty bedrooms
cut by words
betrayed by actions
fearful
they accept their doom
only to find refuge
in instant relationships
it’s the dream they dream awake
to run away from a world of fakes
but who’s the real betrayer?
is it their dream or its creator?
To be or not to be
adrenaline pumps my heart
excited for the adventure
that’ll propel me far
my soul watches
peacefully
floating amongst the clouds
my mind asks
softly
is it really worth the ride?
Darkness is in the critic
that finds flaws in my love
perfecting it and shaping it
to sell me as tough
I’m not on discount
although I play myself to be
maybe that’s why my love fails
miserably
my smile comes with the package
seducing you away
it’s the way I found to say
unwrap me lover boy
and grab me real tight
make me your new story
of endless love and light
I may be a dreamer
a sucker for fantasy
knocked down by pain
I am humble and insane
lucky day for you
you just found the best of me
little do you know
that you’re buying gold for free
I feel the spirits of those who passed
as if I’d been there too
when in darkness I find my peace
where there’s nothing I’ve got to do
in their words I find my truth
in their dreams, hopes and fears
long gone
but which I feel are so near
only they know where I’m now
in this deep sorrow of mine
that if I said I didn’t love
I’d be lying
It’s superficial
what can I say
but it gets me through
a superficial day
floating on the surface
of my emotions
cutting all the ties
dodging all commotion
I seem fine you see
and I won’t deny
let me love the dream I live in
b4 I have to say goodbye
my secret is my sin
my heart filled with pain
that I know alone
I’ll have to entertain.
I want you to be mine
only mine
but it takes two to dance tango
and with you and me
we’re already three
as half of me
wants to own you
and the other half
wants to be free
Stay Grounded 