I saw this video today and giggled at the fact that this bird’s quest is the perfect metaphor for my journey of self-discovery.
Just like this bird, I know where I am going and what I’m looking for. But just like the part of myself which I’m calling the sceptic, nothing seems to be happening: I throw my heart out and my piece of bread just gets smaller and smaller.
At least that’s what I think when I’m having a bad day. The truth is, I’m not losing anything. Worrying that I’m a misfit with no solution are all illusions of the sceptic that need to go. I am not throwing my tiny piece of bread into nothingness.
It’s just that I’m quickly becoming aware of things that were never right in my life, aspects of me which I ignored because I didn’t have the courage to face them. And it hurts to see them. But now I do. Now that I shine a light, I can see my dark corners. And having guilt or shame about these dark corners is not allowed because it’s all part of the process. And in a way, it’s beautiful.
So listen up, sceptic: I will be patient and I will keep you calm. That’s it. Try to cooperate. I’m just trying to make you feel it, even if only for a split-second. We are what we are looking for, man.
Can you feel it? The big fish is us.
It is really easier to discover the self than to sort out your problems.
Quando eu morrer
Sera que o sol vai parar de brilhar?
As nuvens de passar?
E a lua de hipnotizar?
Nada vai parar de pulsar.
Ao invés, tudo em que eu toquei
E todos os que amei
Estarão mais ricos e suculentos
Graças à minha presença eterna
Sem mim nada seria assim
Seria algo diferente
Algo mais voçê, ou mais ele.
Mas não seria uma parte de mim.
Então eu não morro.
Eu nasco e permaneço
No coração de todos com quem comemorei
E na memória de todos os que atrapalhei
Quando eu morrer
O sol vai continuar a brilhar
As nuvens a passar
E a lua a hipnotizar
E eu vou continuar a vaguear
Só que mais leve e descansada
Através de todos os que me amam
E têm a coragem de lembrar.