Mr Graham Greene

“I can’t say what made me fall in love with Vietnam – that a woman’s voice can drug you; that everything is so intense. The colours, the taste, even the rain. Nothing like the filthy rain in London. They say whatever you’re looking for, you will find here. They say you come to Vietnam and you understand a lot in a few minutes, but the rest has got to be lived. The smell: that’s the first thing that hits you, promising everything in exchange for your soul. And the heat. Your shirt is straightaway a rag. You can hardly remember your name, or what you came to escape from. But at night, there’s a breeze. The river is beautiful. You could be forgiven for thinking there was no war; that the gunshots were fireworks; that only pleasure matters. A pipe of opium, or the touch of a girl who might tell you she loves you. And then, something happens, as you knew it would. And nothing can ever be the same again.”

― Graham Greene, The Quiet American

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Finding my light

This is my test.
This is my time to prove that I understood that I deserve to experience great things in life. That I deserve to love, to laugh, and to be light. To receive light. Darkness is here only to help me realise that. to help me realise my light.

Mariana

Enlightenment explained by a bird

I saw this video today and giggled at the fact that this bird’s quest is the perfect metaphor for my journey of self-discovery.

Just like this bird, I know where I am going and what I’m looking for. But just like the part of myself which I’m calling the sceptic, nothing seems to be happening: I throw my heart out and my piece of bread just gets smaller and smaller.

At least that’s what I think when I’m having a bad day. The truth is, I’m not losing anything. Worrying that I’m a misfit with no solution are all illusions of the sceptic that need to go. I am not throwing my tiny piece of bread into nothingness.

It’s just that I’m quickly becoming aware of things that were never right in my life, aspects of me which I ignored because I didn’t have the courage to face them. And it hurts to see them. But now I do. Now that I shine a light, I can see my dark corners. And having guilt or shame about these dark corners is not allowed because it’s all part of the process. And in a way, it’s beautiful.

So listen up, sceptic: I will be patient and I will keep you calm. That’s it. Try to cooperate. I’m just trying to make you feel it, even if only for a split-second. We are what we are looking for, man.

Can you feel it? The big fish is us.

OMnivore

I love food – especially in the winter, when the sun is down and my mind is frosted, friends are far away and laughter is quietly asleep.

Like a true Omnivore, I can generate energy from anything I eat and feel good with it – from milk to apples, bread to lentils. I love it all and I feel the benefit of it all. Even that of meat. But how beautiful is this cow? seriously. It’s hard to take a look at this gorgeous being and then eat it in a taco.

I can’t love the cow and eat it too. Hunf! I quit smoking the other day and I know the next step will be to go vegetarian. Not crazy vegetarian, just quietly vegetarian – learn tonnes of recipes, be comfortable in it. No pressure, stepping in and out of it as I wish. Cleanse my body, love the beautiful beings around me without ‘but’. Honour this cow, who deserves a peaceful life as much as I do…

I quit smoking the other day and I know the next step will be to go vegetarian. Not crazy vegetarian, just quietly vegetarian – learn tonnes of recipes, be comfortable in it. No pressure, stepping in and out of it as I wish. I just want to cleanse my body and love the beautiful beings around me without having a ‘but’ in my mind. Honour this cow, who deserves a peaceful life as much as I do…

It’s not easy though. If only I didn’t have to choose.

Like this Cachena cow. This lucky/unlucky cow (you decide) lives in the moment. She has no choice! Every morning, she takes on her destiny without a single worry in her mind, no matter if she’s about to live or to be tacoed. The choice is all on us, really. The ones who worry…

Humans, we can’t control life, but we can foresee it. Because of that, it’s our responsibility to create the spectacular life that we are capable of imagining. Wow. Lucky and unlucky us. So there’s a tiny bit of pressure.

I’d like to share with you who inspired me to write this post: this cow and the woman singing in this music. No joke. Here’s my ‘Give-veganism-a-try’ meditation kit:

Step 1: Stare at this beautiful cow
Step 2: Listen to this healing music
Step 3: Imagine this cow’s heartbeat synched with yours, radiating light around her

You’ll see what I mean…

Namaste

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Stay cool with a warm heart

Amma on Shivaratri:

“No matter how turbulent the situation, the Lord Shiva’s head and inner realm remains peaceful. Though the head is cool, the heart is always warm with compassion for the world. What we need is a cool head and a warm heart. But what we see in the world today is the very opposite: most people are hot-headed and cold-hearted. Everyone’s head is heated up by worldly thoughts, and the heart has become frosty with selfishness. If our head is cool, we can face the most adverse circumstances peacefully and turn it to our advantage.”

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